s(hhh)ecret

se-cret:
adj.
Kept hidden from knowledge or view; concealed.
Dependably discreet.
Operating in a hidden or confidential manner: a secret agent.
Not expressed; inward: their secret thoughts.
Not frequented; secluded: wandered about the secret byways of Paris.
Known or shared only by the initiated: secret rites.
Beyond ordinary understanding; mysterious.
Containing information, the unauthorized disclosure of which poses a grave threat to national security.

I have countless of secrets. Not that I intentionally keep from other people's knowledge. Knowing myself so well, I dun even care. But experiences told me that sometimes certain things are not meant to be told /share. Firstly because what you told 'dem, could be easily misinterpreted and could cause more misunderstanding. Secondly, it can be hurtful. You thot by sharing, you could diminish some of that painful thoughts but you are so wrong.You could feel worse than what you have felt before.

When I heard some things that I thought I need hear from the horse's mouth itself, I got berated. All because I thot I wanted the truth, alas, it hurt more than ever.

Some secrets. Too controversial. Certain things in life, I dun tell. I just dun feel like it. I hate explanations. Not that my mouth's " heavy". It's hard to make humans understand what goes thru ur head everyday. It's not as if 100 percent of those you called your bestfriends, your love, your family, understood you every well or maybe they are actually listenining to your voice instead of the actual words you are staying.

Sometimes the person you just knew or rarely meet is the person whom you share these thoughts with. And to your surprise, they are going thru a phase which you are experiencing ryte now.

Pain.. I healed .
Sadness.. I swallowed.
Laughter.. I forced.
Smile.. I trembled.


Clarification: What I am writing is generic. Some things that I do go thru. BUT it does not mean it has to involve a stranger who is of an opposite sex.

On a happier note, my birthday was celebrated with peace. (Read: no fights). Will write details later. Later means.... hmm.. in a week time. Maybe. See my mood lar.
Or maybe I should keep all thoughts as a SECRET.=)


As if people care, Nunu.